Strategy, Timing and Love

Last night I had the delight of spending an evening with Esther Perel.

I am new to Esther’s work and can in no way claim to be a follower or a fan…. That was until last night.

Esther is a psychotherapist who views the world from her lenses of Relationship, Security V Freedom and Eroticism (in its fullest sense). It is through these lenses that Esther translates the world and our response to it.

It has seemed meteoric how Esther has gone from being a family psychotherapist to international best seller (Mating in Captivity The State of Affairs) and, sell out public speaker and podcast leader (Where Should We Begin and How’s Work) in what seems like a flash… Esther has been at this for more than 30 years! Her time in the spotlight has been much less… Same goes for Brené Brown… but we are listening now…

We have seen Esther come onto the scene at a time when we need – we hunger – for more dialogue around connection (thanks Celeste Halliday) and what better lens for connection than relationships (thanks Esther).

Last night, Esther spoke about how the very nature of relationships and love itself has changed. How we have moved from tribe to village, village to town, town to city, city to social network and social network to metaverse. Each step superficially connecting us but really leaving us lonelier and more disconnected. This march of individuality tearing apart the very fabric of relationships and what we understand love to be.

As a strategist this compelling narrative speaks to me of longer run intergenerational issues, sadness, disconnection. The fact that Esther and others are calling this out now, and that we are listening, speaks to me about timing – the timing could be right for us to be tackling the darker sides of capitalism’s relentless individuation and deconstruction of social and connective institutions.

There is a recurrent theme here that I often write about, and that is the importance of strategic timing.

I’ve written and spoken about how strategic timing was often the difference in the great social changes that we have seen gain traction and those that struggle for air. The issues underneath Marriage Equality, Black Lives Mater, MeToo, Reconciliation just to name a few, have been in public discourse for a very long time. They have had sparks that have threatened to light the revolutionary fires for a long time. They have incensed us to episodic action many times before… but, for a number of different and colliding reasons, some of these movements have broken through to enduring and meaningful change.

My observation is that the timing has been just right for these breakthrough movements to see that first small crack appear in the boundless ice walls that contain and exclude them.

This first small crack gives focus for others to join and apply the collective steam of their passions and energy to transform the crack into a chasm, the chasm into a break and the break into a collapse.

Strategic timing is often the missing factor in enduring change.

Strategic timing is just as relevant in social sector workplaces as it is social change movements. It drives how change is made, how mission delivered.

That’s why an essential element in all strategic plans for the sector has to be timing. When.

Picking when to develop a bold strategy versus a conservative one, a growth strategy versus a defensive one, a hybrid of all of these things… Assessing the best way to deploy your limited resources often comes down to timing.

“Yes we must start this new lived experience consultation approach to service development, but is the timing right for them and for us?”

“Whilst it’s the right thing to do, when is the right time to do it?”

As you know we have a method for developing strategic plans (Objectives, Ideation, Stress Testing and Action Planning). The question of timing is often constrained to the final stage of the planning process – when it comes time to planning out your initiatives and programs.

My experience tells me that timing is a strategic supply. It needs to be engaged right up front.

In discussions about your Mission ask “when will this happen?”

Your Purpose “ when will we be able to deliver this and what needs to happen around us?”

Your Strategic Themes : “when will we see change?”

Your Objectives “ Are these achievable given the context and when is the best time to strive for these?”

Esther quoted last night – “Love Is Not a Permanent State of Enthusiasm. It is a verb. Something that has to be worked at.” Strategy is the same. Where insight crafts the best strategy, timing determines its success.